The $150,000 Congressional Tooth Fairy

Crack a tooth in the Congressional cafeteria and you might hit the jackpot!

Denise Kucinich, Democrat from Ohio, apparently bit down on his low-cal veggie wrap only to bust a molar on a hidden olive pit.

Conspiracy? A blatant attack on another member of Congress? (I know- too soon but read on…) Did I call him Denise instead of Dennis?

No, no and yes.


“Asked about the suit, which cost $120 to file in the D.C. Superior Court, Kucinich attorney Andrew Young told Fox News, “This is a private matter that needs to be tried in the courts and not in the public media.”

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Give me a break…and I don’t mean a tooth!

First of all, Denise has full dental coverage courtesy of the American taxpayer. Next, he was eating in the taxpayer subsidized Capitol Hill cafeteria- Denise; ya get what ya pay for!

If a chipped tooth is worth 150 large, my mouth could pay off the national deficit. What an absolute wuss- pain and suffering? Denise, “You don’t know what pain is!” (Jame “Buffalo Bill” Gumm from Silence of the Lambs.)

Grow up! If your kid chipped a tooth on a damned sandwich you’d likely tell him to suck it up. But no, Kucinich the Congressman will sue a government vendor who will likely be intimidated enough to settle for some ridiculous extortion to keep their contract.

I say load all those sandwiches with pits. Let’s see if Congress can chew on some of their own swill for a while. If they don’t like it, they can brown-bag.

Denise- you might win your petulant little lawsuit. That will likely drive up the prices that vendor has to charge you for your granola veggie wraps- of course you’ll pass a bill so the taxpayer will increase subsidies to support your private little cafeteria and you may even find some TARP funds to help the vendor cover your suit.

Why don’t you just eat some meat?

I’m wondering from my esteemed colleague in Ottawa can comment on how this situation would be handled north of the 49th Parallel? What do you rugged beer swilling, bear eating, toothless hockey playing Canadians think of the delicate Ms. Kucinich and his $150,000 tooth? If a single tooth is worth $150,000 then the Canadian players in the NHL should be rounded up and used to back U.S. currency and remove us from the fiat system!

By the way, is the Tooth Fairy a government employee?


About jimbouchard

Martial arts transformed Jim’s self-perception from former drug abuser and failure to successful entrepreneur and Black Belt. As a speaker and author of Amazon bestseller Think Like a Black Belt, Jim tours nationally presenting his philosophy of Black Belt Mindset for corporate and conference audiences. He's a regular guest on TV and radio programs including FOX News, BBC Worldview and FOX Across America. View all posts by jimbouchard

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