deet . . . deet . . . deet . . . Breaking News . . . 44 year old London, Ontario native Chris Ellison is petitioning to be the first Canadian to compete on the hit CBS reality show Survivor!
Okay, this is big . . . really BIG!!!!
Since giving up New York City in the treaty signed after we won the War of 1812, Canada has slowly been infiltrating American society through subtle yet powerful overtures that would make Governor Jan Brewer’s expressed concerns over terrorist babies seem bizarre and inconsequential. All right, her comments that Muslim men are migrating to the US to impregnate American women in an effort to forward Jihad from inside the country out, is bizarre and inconsequential anyway . . . but I digress.
First it was Mary Pickford, then Lorne Greene followed by SCTV. And let’s not forget James Cameron whose subliminal messaging during movie hits such as Titanic prompting American viewers to watch hockey, drink Tim Horton’s coffee and become Canada’s 11th Province, is a linchpin of our plan to conquer the continent. Of course let’s not forget our introduction of social medicine into society! What about last evening’s Super Bowl half-time entertainment disaster . . . do you think that just happened by chance?!? If you will recall, the Black Eyed Peas were the half time entertainment at the Canadian Football League’s Grey Cup Championship not that long ago, and were great. Yes, everything is better in Canada.
Finally, and after laying the ground work over the last century, we are now ready to move our seditious intentions from the shadows onto center stage! That’s right, in an open effort to demonstrate Canadian superiority Chris Ellison has officially begun his petition to be a contestant on the hit CBS television show Survivor.
It is a brilliant strategy in that should he be denied the right to compete, it will go a long way towards demonstrating the fact that the competition does not feature the best of the best and that such exclusionary practices are a clear indication that CBS is afraid that Canadians are indeed the true super power in North America!
We will of course be following this story as it unfolds, in the meantime would you like a jambuster with your Timmies?